Avatar......(yeah, that's it....just Avatar).....

I realize that while I am very likely the last human being...on the entire planet to do so...this past weekend I watched the movie Avatar. It’s not that I didn’t want to see it…..it’s more that I never got around to it, and now I know why. I’m pretty sure that it was my “inner-conservative voice” speaking to me….saying “Don’t watch this movie….because it will only piss you off”…..And, as usual, my “inner-conservative voice” was correct.

Now before you take off your shoe and come after me for speaking against the highest grossing movie in the history of the world….allow me to explain. But before I explain....I have to admit that the CGI was spectacular (that would be the Computer Generated Imagery…not the Clinton Global Initiative).....but honestly, that’s where any good stuff kind of ended for me. I am not usually one to “read” hidden agendas into movies. I can usually watch a movie…and take it for what it is supposed to be…..entertainment. But with Avatar…I couldn’t do it. The liberal agenda in this movie was about as subtle as a Jeremiah Wright speech at a Louis Farrakhan rally…..Allow me to elaborate…

First of all, let’s look at the main characters……

You have the Greedy Evil Corporate Guy…...This is the guy who wanted to take a natural resource…called “unobtainium” (no kidding….that was the name of the valuable natural resource) away from the inhabitants of Pandora (called “Na’vi”)...at ANY cost. His evil capitalistic agenda was obviously ONLY about the money....and if that meant killing everyone who lived on Pandora, in order to get it.....then so be it. It was that mindset of...if they won’t give it to us willingly...then we will send in the military to take it. (The only thing missing at this point in the movie, was the mention of Haliburton)

Then there was the Heartless Military Leader…..He of course, was conspiring with the Greedy Evil Corporate Guy….to steal the “unobtainium” from the Na’vi. Heartless Military Leader even made the statement “We will fight terror with terror”…..AND....“Our only security lies in preemptive attack” (The only thing missing during his statement was possibly a “Mission Accomplished” banner hanging behind him). Although I have never served in the military…..I was extremely insulted at this movie's portrayal those in the military….as nothing more than mindless killing machines.

Of course no good liberal movie would complete without a wide array of blatant “tree huggers”. This movie….being a good liberal movie….had more than its share….so we will just refer to this group of characters as the Blatant Tree Huggers. The Blatant Tree Huggers were primarily scientists, who although they were hired by the Greedy Evil Corporate Guy, to “win the hearts and minds of the natives” (again, I did NOT make that up)….they were more concerned about the forest and the sprits that lived in the trees…..than the evil intentions of their employer. (and I say “good for them…who needs those evil capitalists anyway?”)….Here are some lovely quotes from the Blatant Tree Huggers…..”You need to wake up, Parker…..The wealth of this world isn't in the ground….it's all around us….The Na'vi know that, and they're fighting to defend it….If you want to share this world with them, YOU need to understand THEM.” While that certainly brought tears to my eyes….this next one caused me to weep uncontrollably. This is a human speaking to a Na’vi……”See the world we come from….there's no green there. They've killed their mother, and they're going to do the same thing here.” (As that was being said, I was waiting for the guy to pull a picture out of his wallet of Al Gore standing on a melting iceberg….with a baby polar bear in one hand…..and his “second chakra” in the other)

If you are thinking to yourself…..”Well that certainly seems to have all of the elements of a good movie”…..then let me say…..”You really need to get out more often”…..But let me also say….”Wait....There’s more !!!"

While a really good liberal movie would unashamedly bash Christianity…..this one did not. However as a saving grace (no pun intended….ok maybe a little pun intended)….it did lean heavily toward Pantheistic Theology. (A belief system where there is not an actual “God”….rather a system where God and nature are “one”) While Pantheistic Theology is not quite as distanced from Christianity as Paganism….it suffices for Avatar. After all, does it get any better than people holding hands, chanting and praying in the forest…..to the sprits of their ancestors who now live in the “tree of souls”?....I think not.

As I watched this movie….I kept thinking “Why was this movie, the highest grossing movie of all time?”. Then it hit me that the same people who absolutely loved and adored this movie….were probably the same people who loved and adored....and voted for and elected...Barack Obama, as the President of the United States…..And why not?…..After all, the movie Avatar……and Barack Obama’s qualifications to be President….are both based on the same thing….pure fantasy. Then Again….That’s Just Me